Jews and Me

Sunjoo Kim

100 Advanced Integrated ESL

September 19, 2012

Jews and Me

I moved to the U.S. and joined a Jewish temple after marrying a Jewish man a few years ago. The purpose of my joining the temple is simple. I wanted to learn and explore their world because I had no idea what it meant. The only thing I’d known about Jews before was the mean Jewish character in “The Merchant of Venice,” so I’m pretty happy that my knowledge about this religion and people is growing more and more. However, because I’m Korean, belonging to a Jewish temple, as an obviously non-Jewish-looking person, has put me into some very awkward situations.  

  

  

First, I have to deal with unwanted attention I draw from people at the services. I don’t have to go to every shabbat service, which is held every Friday night, but I do go to important holiday services which are very long and amazingly boring. The congregation is told to keep standing and sitting repeatedly and endlessly. Also, even if some people don’t know Hebrew, they will have to pretend that they do and try to pronounce the prayers. Still, this is manageable. It’s not so bad. The real problem is how I look. I just don’t look like the rest of the people in the temple. Besides, there are hardly any Asian-looking people in the temple, so they look at me. I don’t look at them, but I know they are looking at me. I feel like a monkey in a zoo. 

The awkwardness doesn’t stop there. People who I don’t really know seem to remember me. One day, while I was grocery shopping at Jewel, a lady approached me with a lovely smile to say, “Hi, how are you? How’s your daughter?” I froze for a second and immediately replied, “Oh, we’re good. Thank you. How are you?” I was only hoping she doesn’t ask me any more questions or go on talking, which will probably reveal the fact that I don’t know who she is. Thank God. She just left without going into further conversation, and I sighed. I do remember having seen her in the temple, but I didn’t remember when or how I actually met her. I suppose it’s bad not to remember people who remember me because it could make them think they are not memorable, in other words, they’re not impressive at all. However, I deserve a little forgiveness because it’s one hundred times harder for me to remember one of many Jewish-looking people in the temple than for them to remember an Asian there.

The most awkward part of belonging to this temple is that my photos sometimes become public even without my knowing. In Korea, 99.99% of people who you see on a street, on a bus, or at a shopping mall are Korean. They all look like Korean and speak Korean. There’s nothing remarkable about what I look like compared to others. Naturally, I had never seen an image of myself in any types of papers or magazines in Korea. On the other hand, since I joined the temple, my picture with my family has appeared quite a few times in their monthly newsletter. Even more, we recently happened to find a half page picture of us is on their website as a main photo under the menu called ‘Interfaith.’ I feel like I got appointed as an interfaith ambassador who is supposed to do something as a bridge between Jews and non-Jews. 

Although there are some moments that remind me that I do look different from people in the temple, I just try hard to be a sincere member by studying and participating because the rabbi in the temple has been unbelievably nice to me. In addition, all the people who I have met there seem to want to embrace me rather than bully me. Above all, my three-year-old girl’s favorite holiday is Hanukkah because she gets a present from us every night for eight days. As a Jew’s wife and half-Jew’s mom, I’m not going to stop my adventure in the Jewish world no matter how I look.